Well, I finally put my insomnia to good use, and got 2 LO's done last night...
Lately, I have really been needing some validation in my life. I miss having a job sometimes. When I was working for Child Support Services, I actually felt like I had accomplished something at the end of every day. I worked hard, and I was good at what I did. Don't get me wrong...I'm very thankful that I have the opportunity to stay at home with my kids. But, being the Orajel-dispenser and poopy-diaper-changer to a cranky, teething 7 month old; and the potty-time Nazi to a 3 year old...that gets a little bit old sometimes. And, I know...it is an accomplishment to raise 2 healthy, happy kids. I just don't feel like I have any success to call my own...something that is just mine.
I think I grasp for something like that because, by and large, my personal life spins spectacularly out of my control. I am married to the army, and the army controls everything. The army says where I will be living next year. The army says when, where and how long my husband will be gone away from home for. The army dictates even the most minute details of my life...a lot of things indirectly. The army makes it so that I constantly have to explain to a 3 year old that just doesn't understand why Daddy isn't home. And, the army makes it so that every time I get asked (and it is OFTEN), "When is Daddy coming home?" I honestly have no answer.
I can't really complain...there are 10's of thousands of other army wives that do the same thing I do every day...some with A LOT more kids than I...and many with A LOT more issues. Sometimes I just feel like my whole life revolves around the needs of 2 kids. I don't get much time for myself, and I don't have anything that really excites me anymore. Anyway, I'll draw this pity party to a close, and just look forward to my night. Sushi with Louie and Jessica. I can't wait! I've spent all day dreaming about yummy sushi!